I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
Randomize
