I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
I yelled at your uterus for you.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize