it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize