oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
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