im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
