so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
Randomize
