Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize
