At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize
