Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
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