For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Randomize
