You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
Randomize
