You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
Randomize
