i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
Randomize
