Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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