HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
