she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
The feeling are messing with the penis
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
I feel like a drive thru vagina
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
