I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Randomize
