While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
