Soap is not a condiment
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
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