ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
People with herpes should wear stickers.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
porn star boner night. come get it.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
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