i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
