# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
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