I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
