I showed him my bush... on skype.
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Randomize
