matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
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