is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
Randomize
