Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
the night ended with taco bell and tears
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
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