I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
