I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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