so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Randomize