Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
Randomize
