like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
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