Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
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