is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
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