dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
He better not be in your backpack
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
Randomize
