wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
