You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
