her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
