Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
