There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Randomize
