i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
Randomize
