This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
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