Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Randomize
