do herpes really smell.
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
Randomize
