shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
