You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
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