This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
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