There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
So I just went to clothing optional bar
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
Randomize
