Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize