that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
