And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
she peed on how many people?
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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