she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize
