Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
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