Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
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