I think im going to throw up on grandma
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
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