"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Randomize
