i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
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