Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
My pussy is not your playground.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
Randomize
