okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
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