But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize