Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
I want to fling myself into the sun
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
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