It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
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