But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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