my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
Randomize
