my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
