so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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